The Dealbreakers

Whenever we date someone new, we look for the dealbreakers...the tell-tale signs that send us running for the nearest exit. But are dealbreakers really dealbreakers if we meet Mr. Right?

In the beginning, our dealbreakers just help us weed out the freakshows, criminals, and sleazebags (although not so much in my case):

• Asking us to pay for dinner because he ran out of cash (or some other lame excuse)
• Answering his cell phone during the date (he’s not that important)
• Bad table manners (was he raised by wolves?)
• Littering the conversation with four-letter words (learn to use your words!)

Once they get past the initial three dates or so, we start thinking about them in terms of long-term potential. Do they have any dealbreakers for us? Do we have any dealbreakers for them?

Mine:

• If he wants to have children
• If he wants to have LOTS of children
• If he doesn’t love dogs
• If he lacks ambition

M. Perfect’s:

• If his family hates her
• If his friends hate her
• If she dresses poorly

Now that I’ve decided M. Perfect is Mr. Right, is it still a dealbreaker that he wants to have children? Not just one, but 3 children! Not surprisingly, the answer is “no”.

There are no dealbreakers once Mr. Right comes along. And it’s not just me…my roommate has a strict “meat eater = dealbreaker” policy that she is considering rescinding given that her Mr. Right has entered the picture.

Those who are not willing to compromise – my friend who must raise her children Jewish and disallows any pork in the house, my Asian friend who must marry another Asian to appease her mother, my friend that must marry someone who makes at least $250,000 – may look back and regret losing their Mr. Right to someone who views a relationship as a partnership, not a dictatorship.

The only dealbreaker that should last and the only reason to walk is if he/she doesn’t make you happy.