Not all traits are created equal

Oh love, love, love… What happened to that checklist we used to hold dear and near to our hearts? It’s a lot easier when we speak in theoretical terms.. when we aren’t in a relationship.. “Oh, if he doesn’t call me after our date and set our next date, then I’m calling it quits” How about when it’s even a bit more critical like exclusivity? “He must not be that into me if he’s not willing to commit!” Well it’s really not that black and white and in this day and age (age here referring to our age!), we should be less idealistic. Under perfect circumstances, yes, men would know from the first date (and so would we) if this relationship is meant to go forward and if so, we’d be in a long-term relationship, no games played, no questions asked. It’s the gray spectrum that rules probably 98% of the situations.

Sometimes we need to decide that a guy is worth tweaking our checklist for, not for his sake really but for ours. Sometimes, our man makes us realize that certain qualities are more important than others and that it’s ok if he doesn’t call everyday if he’s there to talk every time we’re not feeling so hot and makes us feel like the most special person in the world. It’s ok if these times start counting for much more. That’s the way it should be and then we can give guys some slack when they don’t do so well in these other areas that really at the end of the day don’t count for much. Not all traits are created equal. We should probably create an equation for perfection that’s a weighted average of all traits on our checklist. Yes, an average that’s as close as possible to 100% is of course desirable but to be realistic we’re all prone to imperfection and error. Otherwise, half the men if not more would be declared unsuitable for us or just clearly defective.. If you think about it, calling M. Perfect by that name is really setting him up for failure unless we adjust our definition of perfect to allow for 70 or 80% perfection rather than 100% perfection.

Aaaah… M. Perfect! He’s indeed a great guy. Having known him for a long time, I can definitely vouch for that. Yet, sometimes guys hesitate and don’t really know their own hearts. Not every guy will know from day one and if he doesn’t know, that doesn’t mean he’s not the one. I’m by no means saying he IS the one for Meredith, but I’m saying he’s worth waiting for and he’s worth giving a break.